Wishes, Dreams and the Cello.

As I sat at my desk staring at that blinking cursor, it screamed, “You’ve got nothing; why do you always put these grand ideas into the Universe? You know you never follow through.” That’s a lot to assume a little computer cursor would be screaming at the average normal person, but perhaps I’m not normal. What is normal any way, but I digress. Last week, I made this grand declaration to the Universe that I would get back into the routine of writing a blog post once a week. While I’m sure only a handful of people even read my blog, I’m looking at you, Becca Smith; it’s hard for me to get back into the routine of it all. It’s easy to make those declarations when I am coming off the high I get from hitting that little Publish button on the right-hand side of my screen, but when I come down from that high, I realize I’ve got to kick my imagination into high gear. It’s like anything, I suppose, if you don’t practice, you lose your craft, and it takes some time for it all to come back to you, so dear Becca and whoever reads this silly little blog, please give me some grace as I post some not so great posts while I look for my muse.

I know all of us have dreams, wishes, and regrets. At least, I think we all have them. One of my biggest wishes is to be a musical person. I surround myself with musical people. I’m married to a person who can play every instrument and create music without even thinking about it, and I think he has perfect pitch. I’m not sure what that really means, except that he tells me I have the opposite of perfect pitch. When I’m on tour, everyone is musical somehow, whether their gift is singing, dancing, or playing an instrument. I’m always the odd person out when they start talking about a new instrument they have learned how to play, a track they’ve created, or a new dance move they saw and “here let me teach it to you”. I can’t dance unless I’m drunk. I can’t carry a tune in a bucket unless I’m in my car driving 80 miles an hour down the road. I can’t play an instrument, unless you count Pop goes the Weasle on the Accordian. I am that person who claps on the 1 and the 3, and I don’t even really know what that means, except that it’s wrong. In a couple of weeks, we will move into our house, which has its own dedicated 800 square feet for a music studio, and again, I can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

So, as I’ve stated, if you know me, you know one of my biggest wishes is to be musical, and if you really know me, you know I am the further thing from musical. I do believe that people are given gifts from the Universe and that was just not one of my gifts. However, I refuse to let the Universe tell me no without trying, and believe me, I have tried. I have taken piano lessons, guitar lessons, flute lessons, and the aforementioned accordion lessons. I’ve even had a childhood friend try to teach me the French Horn, and I can play nothing. The Cello is the one instrument I have always had a burning desire to learn to play. There is just something about the sound of a Cello that I love. I also love how every person I’ve seen play the Cello looks like a mix of sophistication and sexiness.

This weekend, we had lunch with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law (both of whom are musical, because of course they are!), and somehow, the conversation turned to instruments. I told them about my dream of learning to play the Cello, and my sweet sister-in-law said, “Oh, you can borrow my Cello; it’s just sitting in the basement collecting dust.” I think I squealed like a schoolgirl who woke up in the morning to a snow day! My husband looked at his sister and said “What? It’s just sitting down there? You just saved me hundreds of dollars, I was just about to buy one”. And so it was settled: in a few weeks, when the house is done, I will drive over to her house and pick up the Cello. The Cello that I’m confident I was destined to learn, and I’m even more confident that I will uncover a talent I didn’t even know I possessed. A talent my husband is confident I don’t possess. A talent that I’m sure will be a thing if I could will it into existence.

A long time ago, I read somewhere that passion can get you anywhere. You just need to want something bad enough, and the Universe will see your passion and persistence and gift you that thing you want. So here I go, sending grand declarations into the Universe, “Universe, please make me good enough at the Cello to not to cause my husband’s ears to bleed, but most importantly, please let me enjoy it, let it bring me happiness. I’m not asking to become First Chair in the Chattanooga Symphony, just First Chair in the little corner of my world.” Now that I’ve sent it out there, it will come true, right?

So I ask you this, whoever is reading this post besides Becca Smith: “What is that one thing that you’ve wanted to do but have always pushed way back in the depths of your insecurities? That one thing you are certain would bring you joy, but you haven’t done it because you’re afraid? What’s stopping you from starting it and being the First Chair of your little corner of the world?” I dare you to get started.

If the Cello doesn’t work out for me, my one other passion that I’ve been afraid to start is painting, I don’t have the time to go into the fact that I can’t draw a straight line with a ruler, that seems like it will be a post at a later time.