My little blog is soon to be celebrating its third birthday, and I took a minute to look back at all my posts. Way back to the very first post on September 2, 2014, titled “Day 2 of Unemployment and Self Realization”. I went back and read the post, it wasn’t very good, but it was raw. It was how I was feeling 24 hours after I closed my bakery with no job or idea of a job on the horizon. Being the owner and writer of a blog was never on my radar, and often days I am surprised someone other than my husband reads my posts, and I’m still not even sure he reads them. I never had dreams of being a writer as a little girl. I didn’t even have a diary when I was younger.
But this little blog of mine is the one thing I have stuck with consistently, and I am proud of that fact. It started out as therapy for me and has morphed into a diary of my life of sorts. There were times, much like now, when I find that I have written all the words in my head and I no longer have any thoughts, words, or insights to put on paper. Nothing of value or that people would care to read, but these are a few things I have learned in the three years of Heart Written Words:
There are days, depending on Facebook and Instagram algorithms, the right hash tag, or even just as simple as the right title, but people actually read my words and comment, and that makes me smile.
I am not alone, and neither are you. We all have gone through shit and somehow managed to come out the other side. We have all survived our childhoods of drinking out of hoses, playing outside all day in the summer, often without bug spray or sunscreen, and coming home when the street lights turned on or when Mr. McMahon whistled from down the street. You knew if your friend’s parents wanted them home, surely so did yours. We have all survived the mistakes of our parents, and hopefully, we learned to be better parents or people in general because of it.
I learned that I am ruled by kindness. Not just to strangers, friends, or my family, but the biggest lesson I’ve learned is I need to be kind to myself first and foremost. That always hasn’t been the case for me. Once I figured out that lesson, I was happier. Life was easier.
I learned I was good at baking and making croissants, but it wasn’t who I was, it was what I did. I discovered that my lifelong dream of owning a bakery had nothing to do with baking. The one thing I loved the most about my little shop were my customers. My regulars and the ones who came in once on their way through town. I loved to stop rolling out croissant dough and walk to the front and talk to a person waiting on their order or handing a cookie to someone I thought just needed one. It was often hugs from my regulars that got me through the day when I often didn’t think I could make it one more minute.
I learned that even through the hardest times, I could sit down and pour my heart, soul, worry, and fears onto a Word document and when I typed the last word I would always feel better. My blog is cheaper than any therapist.
I learned that my blog lets long lost friends catch up with me, but it is all one sided. I don’t often get to find out about them, and I suppose that is one of the draw backs.
I learned that I miss the original name of my blog. While it is currently called “Heart Written Words” which probably more appropriate, the original name was “Now What The Fuck To Do, ” and I miss that name. I changed it so more people would read my blog and it wouldn’t get lost in the parental controls, but I miss the original name, it was a good one!
I have actually lost count on how having a blog has saved me and my sanity so many times in the three years. There are certainly times when I have had a lot more to say than others, but I’m not sure where I would be without the ability to spit out on to a Word document and walk away.
So, thank you to my loyal followers, to my new followers, and to all those people who mean to read the blog, but are distracted by something shiny and forget. This Fall I am headed out on the road again for work, and maybe I’ll be stopping in your town, maybe I won’t, but you will likely know what I’m up to by reading my little blog.