Three Years Later and A Facebook Betrayal

I woke up this morning completely fine. I laid in bed and thought about some weird dreams I had last night, but mentally I was fine.  I picked up my phone, opened Facebook and started to go to “on this day,” and just like that, I wasn’t so fine.

I had been a little surprised all week that I had forgotten that today day was coming, I usually dread it about five days out.  My sister lives in Houston, so the first part of the week, my worry and thoughts were occupied by group family texts and texts from friends who had been through the Nashville flood offering great advice.

I am also writing or trying to, write a book, so my mind was busy with falling in love with my characters, outlines, and rewriting.  I have also had my mind on this new show that starts next week. I will be packing up my life and leaving next week for three months. So, my thoughts have been blissfully occupied.

So I didn’t see today coming, I didn’t have the yearly dread building up in my stomach.  But then I opened that part of Facebook, that I usually love so much and Facebook betrayed me.

I should have seen it coming, all week there were pictures of new ovens, trial recipes, the excitement of opening my bakery.  I was too wrapped up in life and then this morning like a smack in the face, there it was three years.  Three years ago today, I closed my pride and joy, my sweet little bakery, flour. sugar. eggs.  I closed my shop almost one year to the day of opening it.  There very few things I am proud of, very few things I’ve accomplished in my 50 years that made me as proud as that bakery.

So I looked out my bedroom window at the Nashville skyline, realizing it was raining, I crawled a little deeper into my bed and pulled the covers over my head and told myself I was going to lay here a bit longer today and mourn that sweet shop and my accomplishment.

Then, I got out of bed, got dressed, brushed my teeth, and put the coffee on.  I was going to be just fine, I usually am. When I walked into the kitchen my husband said “Why so sad” and when I told him what day it was his response was, “Oh, ok. I’m sorry honey.  Do you want me to wake you up at 3:30 am tomorrow so you can remember how that feels?” I immediately said thanks, but no thanks.

So this morning I hold my coffee mug up and toast flour. sugar. eggs. and me.  If you can find one, have a croissant today and think of me.

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5 Replies to “Three Years Later and A Facebook Betrayal”

  1. I’m sorry. I think I have a tiny understanding of this….I bought a house as a single gal in 1999. I was so flippin’ proud of buying that house on my own….I scrimped, I scrubbed, I saved and I sacrificed. We moved to a neighboring state in 2004. In 2005 my brother and his family moved in and they stayed there for 5 years….they moved and along came Super Storm Sandy….it was at the New Jersey Shore. My house was safe but it was a wake up call so I decided to sell a year later. I still can’t drive past my old house. It was more than brick and mortar, it was sweat equity, dreams, memories and transition. Best of luck with the new project.

  2. Gina,
    You wrote, “That sweet shop and my accomplishment “. Please remember it was an accomplishment! Kudos to you for getting that sweet shop up and running to begin with.
    My brother had a sweet coffee shop for about 2 years. It was warm, inviting and a place where the locals gathered. But it was killing him physically. He, like you, was up before for the birds and was extremely hands on. Too hands on for my liking. He aged 10 years within those 2. So, with that, he knew he had to let it go. It took him a few years to shake that defeatist attitude, (which really isn’t him). He accomplished something not many would ever even dream of. And so did You!
    I give you lots of credit for the venture you undertook. It takes lots of guts, and needless to say, money to open a business. Good on you for trying, Gina.
    From one baker to another…keep on letting the butter soften, it will ease the lose.
    Love,
    Liza

    1. You did a great job…you accomplished something thats most only dream of…you had the best pastries I’ve ever tasted and i know becuase my wife is the biggest critic buts after trying some she instantly feel in love. Stop dreeding that day and remember you are one of the best to ever do it.

      1. Tavares, thank you so much for your kind words. They mean more than you know!

    2. It has taken me three years to call it an accomplishment, but I finally made it here. Owning a bakery is torture on your body, your family, and your mind. There were days I hated every day, but days I loved it so much. Thank you for your kind words, Liza.

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