We took a job that required relocating to New York only thing was we had no plans to actually 100% relocate. We had every intention of keeping our Nashville apartment and bouncing back and forth between both places. After all, how could I be expected to leave my chickens behind in Nashville? To begin with, I was the reason they were there. I had brainwashed them way back their freshman year in high school that they wanted to look at college in Nashville; I really didn’t even push any other colleges. Perhaps that is wrong and go ahead and judge me, but I knew we were moving back to Nashville when Alison graduated High School, and I was NOT leaving them behind, no way. Now here I am sitting in the most adorably tiny coffee shop, in the most adorable little town called Schenectady while Rob is in a meeting trying not to cry into my coffee.
It’s unreasonable really, my crying. My children are grown adults with jobs, a wife, a live-in boyfriend, a cat and they live in Nashville. I hardly saw them when we are in Nashville, and I communicate with them just as much here in the freezing cold of Schenectady as I do when I’m in my apartment in Nashville. Isn’t that one of the perks of all those hard years of raising your kids, that when they are grown adults you can have your own life and do what it is you want to and move where you want to without worrying about school districts, soccer leagues and carting your kids too and fro?
We found an amazing apartment in an adorable little town; we have a fun exciting new job, and we are essentially unencumbered. But how can I possibly be thinking about moving to a town that every time I want to spell it I have to look it up; moving back to the Northeast; leaving my chickens in Nashville, and most of all later today going to buy an actual winter coat.
I’ve got so many emotions swirling around in my head right now, and they are all fairly unjustified. I am trying really hard to figure out why I’m such a pile of confusion. It makes no sense to move from arguably the Nation’s newest “IT” city to a tiny town in upstate New York, but when I closed the bakery, we signed on for adventures. That took us to four months traveling with the Marvel Experience in 4 different cities. Now here we are, the next adventure. One of my sisters said to me, “HOW FUN! Those pictures of that apartment are to die for, and it’s such a cute town.” Why was I having such a hard time with finding the “HOW FUN!” part? The bottom line is it all comes down to my kids, my sweet little chickens. How does one adjust to not living within miles of them? How does one adjust to being a mom of grown children with lives of their own that don’t include you on a daily basis? Last month both my chickens informed me I wasn’t even the first person they’d call if something happened, their significant others would be the first call. I knew that was as it should be, but it was still a wake-up call for me, and I wasn’t happy.
The Happy Cappuccino is the cute little coffee shop I have been sitting at for the last hour going back and forth worrying about things and then I looked up through my tears at the sign and only saw only the word “Happy.” Happy is what I choose to be about this move. Happy is what I have to believe my children will be whether I’m in Nashville or Schenectady. Happy is what I choose to believe our life in Schenectady will be.